Self Care and Mental Health in a COVID Winter
With Thanksgiving behind us and the holiday season in full swing, now is an important time to talk about mental health. Needless to say, the last 9 months (at a minimum) have been, well, shitty. COVID, the election, economic turmoil, political unrest, police brutality and government overreach have all made for a very rough year for a whole lot of people. We’re expected to keep calm and carry on, maintain social distance, wear a mask, pick a side, and graciously take one for the team, all while losing loved ones, livelihoods, homes, and dreams in the process. Even for the most fortunate among us, anxiety, fear and loneliness are common. We’re social creatures, but we’re told to stay away from friends and loved ones. We’re made to feel guilty, ashamed, and afraid of concepts and decisions the best and brightest in the medical and government sectors still struggle to grasp.
During the holidays, it becomes that much harder to choose social distancing over social and familial connection. After months of sacrifice, many people just want to be around those they care about and to feel a sense of normalcy and comfort in tough times. Connection is a natural human need after all. Unfortunately, the reality of our situation forces our hand. If we want to keep the spread of COVID under control, we really need to do our part to distance as much as we can. Big holiday gatherings are a bad idea. Those booze fueled office parties are definitely not happening. New Years Eve bash? Probably not the best move. We have to navigate the give and take in a way that balances our need for connection and our need to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. We also need to accept that we may well be feeling some difficult emotions and that we might need to focus more on self-care and mental health than we normally would.
According to Psychology Today:
“Holidays are always a tough time for a lot of people. One survey by the American Psychological Association uncovered some interesting data about the holiday blues:
While the majority of people in the survey reported feelings of happiness, love, and high spirits over the holidays, those emotions were often accompanied by feelings of fatigue, stress, irritability, bloating, and sadness.
Thirty-eight percent of people surveyed said their stress level increased during the holiday season. Participants listed the top stressors: lack of time, lack of money, commercialism, the pressures of gift-giving, and family gatherings.
Surprisingly, 56 percent of respondents reported they experienced the most amount of stress at work. Only 29 percent experienced greater amounts of stress at home.”
Factor in all of the COVID related stress, fatigue, financial strain, and pressures, and you may get my point. If you’re feeling any of these feels, you’re not alone. We at Nicely Fit Co. know that mental health is a huge component to overall well being. We’d love to think that exercise is the best medicine, and I’m sure if you’ve ever felt down in the dumps, someone has pontificated on the benefits of some juice cleanse, cardio regimen, kickboxing class, Soulcycle, weightlifting routine, yoga, etc., but look, that’s not the solution for everyone. We think exercise can be a big part of the overall wellness picture, but there is so much more to it. We’re very complex beings after all. Sometimes we need help, and that’s ok. Sometimes we need to let other things drop so we can focus on taking care of our basics. It’s perfectly fine to struggle and admit we need a break or some help, but it might be a new concept for many of us to accept.
To help us all navigate through the last month of the absolute worst year, and what will clearly be a really weird and difficult holiday season, we’d love to introduce Jessa Henschel, a dear friend and excellent mental health professional who brings deep empathy and care to her work and relationships.
Jessa Henschel LCAT-LP
862-314-6241
jessahenschel@gmail.com
Jessa is Queens local, working within a private practice called The Therapy Zone and running sessions virtually. She has worked in a variety of settings, including in community settings with court involved youth, and with adults in inpatient psychiatric hospitalization. Her main focus at the moment is with youth and adolescents, however, she does see clients of a variety of ages. Jessa believes that a community approach is important in mental health treatment, and strives to destigmatize therapy and mental health issues both in her practice and in her life.
From her Psychology Today profile: “Throughout the COVID-19 crisis, I have been creatively adapting my skills in art and talk therapy to provide a humanizing and warm experience digitally. Adaptation is necessary as a therapist, but especially now during these anxious times, and as the need for tele-therapy services increases. I ensure that I adapt to each client's needs individually, and maintain a mutual relationship where we work together collaboratively in their mental health journey.”
Psychology Today Profile Link
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/jessamyn-henschel-staten-island-ny/767580
To start off, what have you struggled with most during COVID, and what changes have you made to help you cope?
Jessa: I have made a point to create routines for myself, no matter how small the task. For example, during peak lockdown in April, I made pancakes each Saturday, to create a definite start to the weekend. Having routine has helped me to gain a sense of control over my daily living situation, which has been far from my regular “normal”. Overall, though, I have been very privileged to have full-time work throughout COVID, as well as it being a remote position, so I am someone who has some built-in flexibility and control over my schedule.
I would say that my greatest challenge during COVID has been having boundaries with myself. When I began working from home, I overestimated myself that I would be able to work with minimal to no breaks between sessions and meetings, but I quickly realized that this was a great recipe for burnout. I began establishing more “break routines” and “self-care routines” throughout my day (even just 5 mins sometimes!), which has helped tremendously.
How do you incorporate physical activity into your daily life? Do you find physical activity to positively affect your own mental health and wellbeing? What do you find works for you and what would you recommend to a potential patient?
Jessa: I have always enjoyed physical activity, and was a competitive swimmer and track runner through high school, and now I primarily run, lift, and practice yoga. I do try some new activities when the opportunities present themselves though, especially if it means connecting with my friends (now over video). For myself, I have found exercise to be an excellent way to release tension, to have time to myself, and to feel strong. Additionally, the mind-body connection is so strong, and so when I have exercise incorporated into my self-care, I find a number of mental health benefits: more energy, better sleep, better mood, etc.
From a mental health standpoint, I think that for some people, particularly those with disordered eating, exercise can be associated with punishment or purging. Because of this, I also recognize that exercise may not always be able to separate from the idea of “changing” their bodies for some people. When I see this in someone, I take an intuitive approach with them when it comes to exercise and food, to tailor it best to their needs and desires. I encourage my clients to find physical activities that they genuinely enjoy, and encourage them to check in with themselves frequently and mindfully about what their motivation is for exercise on a given day (ex: Do I want to release tension? Do I want to be playful? Do I want to feel strong? or...Do I want to punish myself? Do I want to do this because I feel like I “have” to?). While I am primarily talking about my clients here, I do think that taking an intuitive approach to exercise is something that can be incorporated into many peoples’ lives, and furthermore, can be an excellent extension of one’s self-care. If exercise is a part of your self-care routine, it should be something sustainable for you and your body.
I should acknowledge of course, that some people do participate in intentional weight loss and/or gain, for their own personal reasons, and this is totally okay! Do whatever works best for you and your body and needs.
You are an art therapist, which is super cool! Could you walk us through how that works, and how creativity can be a helpful therapeutic process?
Jessa: Thank you! I love being an art therapist! I often tell people that I have the skillset and knowledge of a psychotherapist, with the additional toolkit of creative and visual processes. These processes can be particularly supportive for experiences and emotions that are difficult to verbalize. Therapy is all about meeting your clients “wherever they’re at” (a phrase we therapists use), and the arts can be particularly supportive. I find that art therapy is one of the most adaptable forms of psychotherapy - if art can be anything, then art therapy can take on an infinite number of forms. To put it even more simply, I am both a talk therapist and art therapist.
Additionally, there is no one approach to art therapy, just like how there is no one approach to talk therapy. I always tailor sessions and treatment planning to each client’s needs and desires. There is no “one size fits all” approach, and when I think of each of my clients, I am reminded of how unique each and every one of them is, and how different their sessions look from each other.
Something I must always mention is that you DO NOT have to be an artist to have art therapy. A number of adults who I see always make sure they let me know “I’m not good at drawing though, okay?” - and I respond by letting them know they do not have to be. I say something along the lines of “It’s about you getting your thoughts and feelings out, not about how ‘good’ it looks.” I recognize that making art can be a vulnerable and intimidating experience, just like how opening up to a therapist is already.
It’s no secret that while the holidays can be sources of joy and comfort, for many they can be sources of stress and pain. What are some go-to techniques for dealing with emotionally difficult periods?
Jessa: My best advice for this is to plan in advance. When we are overwhelmed, it is hard to think logically, so having something already prepared for yourself will take some of the mental energy and weight away from trying to soothe yourself. Create a “wellness plan” including a list of coping skills, strategies, people to call, etc. for when you are feeling overwhelmed. When it is not possible to plan in advance, however, we can work on maintaining our daily wellbeing through sustainable self care.
Boundaries are also great! What are your non-negotiables? What are you not willing to compromise on or neglect? Define and implement your boundaries around the holidays, and this is of course WAY easier said than done, but is worth a shot.
How do you define self-care? What does it mean to you? How does self-care factor into mental health overall?
Jessa: I define self-care as the act of maintaining, sustaining, or establishing overall well-being for oneself. Good self-care is sustainable, and by that I mean that it can be sustained over a long period of time for the person, and is within reach for them. It can look a number of different ways, and also isn’t always necessarily luxurious or enjoyable in the moment, but the payoff is always existent, whether in the short term or long term. I think that our society and capitalistic culture has encouraged us to “consume” self-care. However, I believe self-care can be very simple and created by oneself. As a mental health professional, I ensure that I impress this idea upon my clients and we come up with sustainable and accessible forms of self-care for themselves.
Navigating the mental health landscape can be confusing and difficult. For many, speaking out and seeking help can be shameful. There is also the issue of cost, which can be prohibitive. What would you say to someone who is struggling with their mental health and is unsure about how to seek help?
Jessa: I know how hard it is to seek support, especially given the stigma surrounding mental health and therapy in our culture and society. Imagine if we treated mental illness with the same concern, understanding, and empathy that we treat physical illness?
Something else that I have learned is that not everyone is ready for therapy, which is also okay. There are a number of mental health-aligned resources out there that don’t replace therapy, but are generally good resources to have, if you simply are not ready for therapy and/or do not have the means. Books, journaling prompts, community centers, apps...the list goes on. Always meet a person “wherever they’re at”.